Ghost

I heard this song and straight away was reminded of High school. I always felt alone there even when surrounded by a sea of people, the only two friends I trusted both attended a different school to me.
I was scared of making new friends, because the moment I had started that high school I became a target for some mean girls.
The reason being? I always got on better with boys, I liked hanging out with them and that made the girls jealous, so, they picked on me.

I got into fights constantly.
I was once cornered in the changing rooms just after P.E class by a girl so much bigger than me.
I never backed down.
But there was no one I could lean on for support, no one I could talk to. I felt like Ghost in a sea of people.

I am glad High school is over for me. Even though the outside world is just as tough, I have learned how to protect myself, I have learned how to be strong and not to allow anyone’s judgment to darken my vision.

There is a life after High school and most bullied teens can’t see past their day to day lives, but, trust me it gets better.

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Writing

I have always wanted to be a writer, write a book or a series. Sadly I’m one of those people who tend to criticize themselves too much.
I write and re-write and then follow that cycle over again and then to push the pin in further I don’t show my work to other people.

I don’t understand why that is, but here are some options;

Fear of Failure? –  I doubt that since I failed quite a few times in my life and I’m still here.
Fear of Success? – Does that means people will be expecting more from me? shudders.
Fear of Commitment – Committing myself to such a task…Sounds hard but not impossible.
Fear of expectations – Well I think anyone can buckle under pressure..But..Am I?

Either way, these are all excuses that I am tired of making. I want to be a writer, be it write books, reviews, blogs or articles I want to do it.

I want to commit myself to writing.
I want to Succeed.
I want to exceed peoples expectations.

…But most of all…I want to stop procrastinating.

I might not be the greatest when it comes to grammar, but that’s alright after all English is my third language.

I might not be the best when it comes to endings, but I can work on that.

What I am good at is coming up stories, creating characters and falling in love with the different worlds in my mind…