Ghost

I heard this song and straight away was reminded of High school. I always felt alone there even when surrounded by a sea of people, the only two friends I trusted both attended a different school to me.
I was scared of making new friends, because the moment I had started that high school I became a target for some mean girls.
The reason being? I always got on better with boys, I liked hanging out with them and that made the girls jealous, so, they picked on me.

I got into fights constantly.
I was once cornered in the changing rooms just after P.E class by a girl so much bigger than me.
I never backed down.
But there was no one I could lean on for support, no one I could talk to. I felt like Ghost in a sea of people.

I am glad High school is over for me. Even though the outside world is just as tough, I have learned how to protect myself, I have learned how to be strong and not to allow anyone’s judgment to darken my vision.

There is a life after High school and most bullied teens can’t see past their day to day lives, but, trust me it gets better.

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Writing

I have always wanted to be a writer, write a book or a series. Sadly I’m one of those people who tend to criticize themselves too much.
I write and re-write and then follow that cycle over again and then to push the pin in further I don’t show my work to other people.

I don’t understand why that is, but here are some options;

Fear of Failure? –  I doubt that since I failed quite a few times in my life and I’m still here.
Fear of Success? – Does that means people will be expecting more from me? shudders.
Fear of Commitment – Committing myself to such a task…Sounds hard but not impossible.
Fear of expectations – Well I think anyone can buckle under pressure..But..Am I?

Either way, these are all excuses that I am tired of making. I want to be a writer, be it write books, reviews, blogs or articles I want to do it.

I want to commit myself to writing.
I want to Succeed.
I want to exceed peoples expectations.

…But most of all…I want to stop procrastinating.

I might not be the greatest when it comes to grammar, but that’s alright after all English is my third language.

I might not be the best when it comes to endings, but I can work on that.

What I am good at is coming up stories, creating characters and falling in love with the different worlds in my mind…

Generation of Books

I have had a few people, asking me why I spend my time reading books. As they said to me, and I shall paraphrase this:

‘they give you nothing, are boring and just a whole lot of a wasted time’ …at that point I had to turn away and calmly walk away from the person, why? well that is really simple, you can’t discuss or argue with someone who is illiterate. They simply won’t understand what you are trying to say and will irritate you with, their non-exsistant ‘Logic.’ I bring this topic up because it is close to my heart. Today I was reading an article on ‘modern young adults’  and I remembered a quote by ‘Abbas El Akkad’ who, was an Egyptian writer he died in 1964 and wrote over 100 books.

He writes, and I quote:

“…I do not read for I have renounced life,
I read because one life is just not enough for me…”

I think that it is a wonderful quote. Only one sentence long. But with such great meaning behind it.

Humans are a curious species.
We learn and grow, we record things for future generations, create stories of other, wonderful worlds and are always evolving.

Or at least we used to be…

What has happened to this generation? I have met so many people who, if you ask what they like to read will answer with a horrific sentence:

“… I don’t read, unless you’re counting magazines…”

This has been bothering me for a long time.
I hate how superficial the whole world as become, we’re all about selfies, twerking, clubs and getting drunk, there is more drama than learning in our lives, and I’m talking about teenagers from the 13 years old and going up.

Honestly it’s a pity how little of our generation enjoys picking up a book and being transported to that imaginary world. It is a real pity that we are starting to lack imagination…